Monday, May 23, 2005
| Shondra’s Visit Today I have a tumor on my neck that I THINK is an ingrown hair. I tried to pop it this morning in the bathroom and all I succeeded in doing was making myself scream in agony. I tried to run hot water on it in the shower, but to no avail. Then it hit me, rather than trying to exorcise it from my neck, I should just name it and make peace with it. So, welcome. Journal readers, I would like you to meet Shondra, my neck tumor and Shondra, I would like you to meet my journal readers. Get to know each other as you deem appropriate. I’ve been sipping on the same flat diet coke for hours. Each time I take a sip, I cringe with a taste of BLAH. Yet, do I empty it out or go get a fresh one? Nah…Shondra likes it and at this point, she’s in charge of most of my actions. I saw the movie Spanglish this weekend and I absolutely loved it. I even cried my eyes out. It was funny and sad and wonderfully acted. I had heard some negative things about it, but it just goes to show that you can’t believe everything you hear. Especially when what you hear is that you’re going to die in 12 seconds. Huh? Huh. Not only is today Monday, it is a BORING Monday. The first couple of hours went by pretty fast and I was shocked. Then time started to slow down around noon and it’s been crawlskis every since. I even jerked off in the bathroom hoping THAT would fill up a good 5 minutes. It did the trick just fine. Then I ate pizza for lunch because the sandwiches that we had in the building were absolutely horrifying. Angela, our housekeeper, kept trying to shove them down my throat cuz she didn’t want me to pay for lunch. So every time she walked by, I would take a nibble of the mushy, old sandwich and be like “Yum! Oh, GOD, YUM!” And then I ran and threw it away in a garbage can outside when she wasn’t looking. I came back with pizza and have been fat and happy ever since. I’m flying to Syracuse this weekend to visit my best girls from college. To say the least: I’m damn fucking excited! I’m probably most excited that I’m flying there cuz the trip will only be an hour versus 5-6 hours on the train. And guess how much my plane ticket was? Um…$96 round trip! I mean, I’m only flying to Syracuse from New York, but STILL…the train ticket cost like $160 round trip. Since when is flying so much cheaper than training? What a crazy world we live in! JUST CRAZY! JUST! CRAZY! crazy. Paul took me out to a four-course dinner last night. He has been super adorable lately and the dinner was no exception. We ate and ate and ate and we actually had to take home the final course and dessert because Desperate Housewives was rearing its awesome head. Considering that Paul doesn’t really watch the show, he was very supportive about it and didn’t mind eating his boneless rib eye in bed while I screamed along with the television. You know, sometimes he is so fucking cute that I just want to eat him alive. This morning when Shondra and I rolled out of bed, Paul said “What’s THAT on your neck?” I said “It’s a new friend, would you like to meet her?” He said “Yes” and stupid me leaned in so he could say “hello”. Before I realized what he was doing, he jammed his finger into Shondra’s face. She FREAKED out and I slapped his hand. If he doesn’t know how to treat friends of mine, then he will not be allowed to meet them anymore. SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR RITA – I can’t WAIT to see you and Gwennie this weekend. I don’t think I’ve been this excited about something in my entire life. Well, except for that time that we ate our pizza on the couch in Queens. “There’s nothing like the way I feel when I’m eating my pizza.” Have a great day ya’ll! |
